Feeling proud of my work

02May07

Over at Crochetville there’s a thread that I was reading that is titled Why are we our own worst critics? and it just totally resonated with me. I have dealt with this in every area of my life, and with aspects like academics and then work I was able to feel validated by excelling and getting good grades, getting degrees, getting a super duper job, so on and so forth. Now that I’m a Sahm I don’t get that validation and I am hyper critical of myself with regards to everything, I know that I’m lacking in housewifery skills, and I’m not always super wifey and super mama, and then that just ends up seeping into all areas of my life.

When I finished my pattern I was feeling pretty proud of myself, but then almost immediately I started worrying that it just wouldn’t be what other people were interested in, or that others would find fault with it. Then I just had to kick myself in the butt and tell myself that I really liked my doll and that it really shouldn’t matter what other people think about my work, I was happy with her and I felt like I did a good job. I am pleased that I’ve had such positive feedback. To begin with, I was really tentative to share my work since it does feel like such an extension of me, but I also feel like it’s a way to get better, I didn’t expect all praise and while I don’t enjoy constructive criticism I realize it’s merit.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that for the first time in a long time I’ve felt really good about myself and I am starting to understand all the hullabaloo about art therapy, and how beneficial it is creating something and sharing it, whether it’s a masterpiece or just okay.  I don’t understand why I can’t be proud of myself, and why I have to feel apologetic for sharing what I’ve made, I don’t understand why I feel that way.  I am so thankful for starting this blog because I do get to talk things out to myself and gain better understanding of why I do the things I do, and how the things I make help me find peace with myself and allow me to give myself occasional pats on the back.

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One Response to “Feeling proud of my work”

  1. 1 camanomade

    Keep up the pats on the back, and keep writing patterns. For every pattern there is a person to use it, and who will enjoy it.


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